Why Strangers Spill Their Secrets Before You Even Say Hi

And What To Do About It This Asymmetrical Intimacy in High-Capacity Minds

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You arrive intending to have an ordinary day.

Within twenty minutes, someone you barely know is describing their divorce, their burnout, or a memory they usually reserve for close friends. You listen, regulate the emotional tone, and ask a thoughtful question that helps them feel understood. You even put in your headphones, look away, try to change the subject.

They leave feeling relieved.

You leave feeling strangely invisible and somewhat violated.

Many of us assume this means we attract oversharers or emotionally intense people. Clinically, the pattern is rarely about who we attract. It is about what our nervous systems and communication styles signal almost immediately.

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The Rapid Safety Signal